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Do You Enjoy The Beauty Of The Moment?

Do You Enjoy The Beauty Of The Moment?

Last September, I did it. I stopped making excuses and went on a whale-watching tour in Vancouver. It had been my heart’s desire since many years, and I had tears in my eyes when I reserved the tour.

One week prior to the tour, my inner child was full of tension. Will the weather conditions allow the tour? I anxiously observed the forecast. It was supposed to rain all day. Would the event really take place?
On the morning of the tour, I woke up accompanied by the squawking of the sea gulls, and a ray of the sun entered shyly into my room. I saw a piece of blue sky through the gap of the curtains. I sighed deeply and smiled. All was well. I would be able to do the trip. I got ready and walked to the hotel in downtown Vancouver where the bus driver picked me up to bring me to the landing place of the boat in Richmond.
One hour later, I sat at the back of the boat, thickly packed in all the clothes I had brought with me to protect myself from the chilly airstream while the sun was warming my face. The roaring sound of the engines hurt in my ears and made it impossible to hear anything else, while the boat cut through the mirror-like surface of the Pacific that was unusually calm that day. There was nearly no wave, no movement.

The prediction was to see a pod of killer whales during the tour, and suddenly they were there. The boat stopped. Stillness surrounded us. The people in the boat ran to the side where the whales had appeared, hid their eyes behind their cameras and tried to make the perfect photo to hang on to it forever. I did the same. After three attempts, I stopped this impossible venture, and observed how the beauty of the moment revealed itself:
Two pods of whales had a cheerful encounter in the sea. Their beautiful black and white colors showed up when they did spy hopping and put their head out of the water. One whale even jumped out of it once. They seemed to be playing with each other, just like two families having an afternoon full of games, and I could feel a tingling joy in the air. I had never seen whales in the wildlife before, and tears of gratitude entered into my eyes as I observed their playfulness. We accompanied them for a while until the engines of the boat roared up again, and the boat took up speed. It seemed that we would also be able to watch some humpback whales that day.

The boat hunted through the sea in zig-zag patterns, until somebody screamed out, “There they are.” There, they were: two adult humpback whales, gliding through the water in their rhythm that was like a graceful dance. Their tail fins showed up for a second, then they descended into the deepness of the Pacific. Some minutes later, they emerged again and repeated their elegant movements. The boats with the whale-watchers followed them cautiously, anxious to be close to the spot of their next appearance. The two whales offered an image of harmony and synchronicity, transmitting grace, peace and perfection.

The guide said, “It is a miracle to see two types of whales on the same day.” For me, this day was a miracle, the two encounters with the whales a wonderful gift from the universe. I don’t have any photos, but the wonderful sensations that day has given me will stay forever in my heart.

What are the beautiful moments in your life?

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post How do you relate with beauty?

What if Your Relationships are Complex…?

Complex Relationships

Do you sometimes spend hours thinking about how your partner might react before you do something? Or do you create scenarios in your mind about what your partner might think or feel?

Just a while ago, I sat in a lovely restaurant with my friend who had recently fallen in love. I listened to her discourse about how her partner might react if she’d would do this or that. Her explanation about his world was full of doubts and worries, possibilities, twists and turns. Silently, I wondered how she could know his feelings, thoughts and needs without ever having asked him. Half an hour later, there was still no conclusion what she should do and I asked her, What do you really want to do? Her answer came quickly and was simple, I want to call him. Suddenly, everything was clear.

In the past, I spent hours thinking about the reactions of my partner before I decided what to do, or I created my own interpretations why he reacted in a specific way, and I never checked with him whether it was really like this or not. Since he meant a lot to me, I wanted to do it “right” but my relationship became complicated. I wasted my time and energy, and I learned that it did not work that way.

How can you simplify your relationships?

Here are some basics that helped me to understand the world of relationships better and that made my relationships simpler:

Each person has a different inner world

The truth is that each person has their own “reality” of the world. This means that each person perceives and experiments the world in their own way, with their experiences, feelings and thoughts and they create their own inner world. Just to give you an example: My sister and I have completely different memories about our childhood. She does not even remember moments that have been significant and highly emotional for me and vice versa even though we experienced both the same situations. Each person has a unique inner world. In your relationship, you have your world, and your partner has another world. You are expert in understanding your world but you will never really know what is going on in your partner’s inner world. Your partner is the expert for their inner world. So, stop thinking about what might be going on in their inner world.

Explore your partner’s world with curiosity

Instead of thinking about what your partner might think, feel or need, ask them. Be just like a tourist who is visiting a foreign country, in this case your partner’s inner world, and explore it with curiosity, just like a treasure map. I once coached a good friend and during the coaching process she suddenly revealed me dreams she had never mentioned before because she feared that I would judge her. I was deeply touched and surprised by the beauty of her inner world. Explore their world without judgement, ask them questions to get to know them better, and you may find precious jewels you never expected. The inner world of your partner might be a surprise to you. There will be things you like and others you dislike. It doesn’t matter how long you know each other, people can change overnight and their inner worlds, too. So, it is always worth to explore your partner’s world.

Let go of control

We can’t control what will happen in the relationship. It will happen what is supposed to happen. It does not make sense to create “what if” scenarios in your head because you cannot control how your partner will react. The more you try to control, the more complex the relationship gets. Don’t try to please the other person. There is no need to. You can just be who you are. Sometimes, you may have the same needs as your partner, and often you will have different ones. There is no right and wrong; the needs of both of you are equally important. Negotiate a creative solution that fits you both if you have different needs. Trust and allow your relationship to flow.

Be authentic

Show your partner who you really are. Be honest about yourself. Speak your true voice. Share your feelings, dreams, needs and fears. Respect your boundaries and say “no” when you want to say now. A relationship requires a deep connection between two people, and this is nurtured by authenticity and honesty.

Applying these basics in your relationship is a process, you don’t have to fulfill them all today, you don’t have to make is perfect. Important is that you make small steps and practice them with joy.

What do you want to try out today?

Do you want to read more? Check the post 4 Easy Ways to Say No.

I look forward to reading your comments below!