The Greatest Gift

The Greatest Gift

Greatest Gift

When I was healing from the effects of sexual abuse and violence, I faced many different reactions. Some were damaging, others helped me to heal and connect with my full potential. The poem is dedicated to Olga, a dear friend who gave me the great gift of non-judgement. I am deeply grateful for receiving her present and her dedication for her non-profit organization, SOI – Street Heroes of India:

I have experienced things you didn’t.
You are terrified.
Poor thing,
Pity shines in your eyes.
You’re broken,
You say aloud.
Whatever you do, it’s up to you.
I am not broken.
I have scars,
Haven’t you, too?

All I know is this:
We all are human,
We all feel the same,
Caused by whatever reason.
My shame is your shame.
My pain is your pain.
My anger is your anger.
My joy is your joy.
My love is your love.
In our emotions,
We are all equal.
In our emotions,
We are all the same.

The causes are
One worse than the other?
I don’t know.
I can’t compare.
You carry yours.
And I carry mine.

Today I ask you for this:
Just for a moment,
Look at me and remember.
My soul is full of light.
Your soul is full of light.
In this precious moment,
Smile at me and say:
I see you, I don’t judge you.
Just for a moment.

Thanks for making a difference.

Do you want to read more? Check the post In Wholeness, We meet.

How to Revive the Magic in Your Relationship

Magic in Relationships

During the Roman Empire, a priest was imprisoned because he had performed forbidden weddings for soldiers. The guardsman’s daughter visited him, they shared their thoughts and laughed. On the day of his execution, he wrote her a note saying he loved her and signed with “From your Valentine”.

This is one legend about the origins of this famous day in celebration of romantic love. Nowadays, Valentine’s Day has many faces: people ignore the day, some may have lost their belief in love, a single person has fun with friends with a touch of melancholy, a woman bitterly cooks dinner for her husband whilst thinking, “I will not support this for another year”, and couples go for a walk, admiring a sky full of stars and holding hands or happily enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner.

Valentine’s Day may remind you of how you feel right now about love. If you feel joy, everything is perfect. Yet, if this day provokes frustration, anger or sadness this may be a sign that you long for a change. Change is always possible. If you are single, you can attract the right partner now and as a couple, you can revive the magic of your relationship by taking some simple steps.

A relationship needs common dreams, goals that you want to achieve together. Take a time out of the routine and create your common dreams together. As single, get your dream about a romantic relationship clear. Write it down, focus on what you want to attract and let go of what you don’t want. Everybody has made good and less pleasant past experiences, allow yourself to dream big, independent of the past. This way you align your radar and attract whom you want.

Relationships are a deep connection between two people. Have courage and share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Whether you have known your partner for 20 years or you both have just met recently, allow your partner to see you without masks. You can never control the other’s thoughts or feeling, you can just give an honest picture about yourself.

Another way to improve the relationship is by practicing gratitude. Place a gratitude jar at home. Each time you feel grateful for something that your partner did or said, write it on a little note and put it into the jar. Maybe you came home after a hard day’s work, and your partner waited for you with dinner already prepared? Great, put a note in the jar. At the end of the year, empty the jar and read together the miracles that happened in your relationship.

Studies show that positivity supports the foundation of relationships and that the ratio between positive and negative affirmation should be 5:1. Positivity is a habit that can easily be learned and practice. Instead of blaming your partner, communicate your need or desire behind this complaint. Give your partner a compliment, tell him or her what they are good at. Singles may get stuck in negative thoughts because of frustration. Yet, our thoughts create our reality. Change your thoughts and create positive ones about romantic relationships and practice hope. The right partner for you is already out there and positive relationships are possible.

If the original spark seems to be lost in the routine of daily life, reminisce over the story of how you met each other. Tell each other all the details about how you experienced it and feel the original connection again. Imagine what is possible in the here and now starting from this point.

Real love is fundamental in our life. Misguided ideas such as “love is suffering” still exist, but love does not justify all and has its limits. Nowadays relationships are about two independent persons, loving each other with mutual respect, dignity and equality without violating each other’s rights and supporting each other as companions, best friends and lovers. Each relationship creates its own unique model based on two unique people and their specific inner worlds. This way, your relationship gives you positive energy and joy and each day can be like Valentine’s Day.

May every day in your life be Valentine’s Day.

I’d love to hear from you. Just leave your comment below.

Do you want to read more? Check the post Do you enjoy the beauty of the moment?

Published in www.barcelonaconnect.com, February 2013

Do You Enjoy The Beauty Of The Moment?

Last September, I did it. I stopped making excuses and went on a whale-watching tour in Vancouver. It had been my heart’s desire since many years, and I had tears in my eyes when I reserved the tour.

One week prior to the tour, my inner child was full of tension. Will the weather conditions allow the tour? I anxiously observed the forecast. It was supposed to rain all day. Would the event really take place?
On the morning of the tour, I woke up accompanied by the squawking of the sea gulls, and a ray of the sun entered shyly into my room. I saw a piece of blue sky through the gap of the curtains. I sighed deeply and smiled. All was well. I would be able to do the trip. I got ready and walked to the hotel in downtown Vancouver where the bus driver picked me up to bring me to the landing place of the boat in Richmond.
One hour later, I sat at the back of the boat, thickly packed in all the clothes I had brought with me to protect myself from the chilly airstream while the sun was warming my face. The roaring sound of the engines hurt in my ears and made it impossible to hear anything else, while the boat cut through the mirror-like surface of the Pacific that was unusually calm that day. There was nearly no wave, no movement.

The prediction was to see a pod of killer whales during the tour, and suddenly they were there. The boat stopped. Stillness surrounded us. The people in the boat ran to the side where the whales had appeared, hid their eyes behind their cameras and tried to make the perfect photo to hang on to it forever. I did the same. After three attempts, I stopped this impossible venture, and observed how the beauty of the moment revealed itself:
Two pods of whales had a cheerful encounter in the sea. Their beautiful black and white colors showed up when they did spy hopping and put their head out of the water. One whale even jumped out of it once. They seemed to be playing with each other, just like two families having an afternoon full of games, and I could feel a tingling joy in the air. I had never seen whales in the wildlife before, and tears of gratitude entered into my eyes as I observed their playfulness. We accompanied them for a while until the engines of the boat roared up again, and the boat took up speed. It seemed that we would also be able to watch some humpback whales that day.

The boat hunted through the sea in zig-zag patterns, until somebody screamed out, “There they are.” There, they were: two adult humpback whales, gliding through the water in their rhythm that was like a graceful dance. Their tail fins showed up for a second, then they descended into the deepness of the Pacific. Some minutes later, they emerged again and repeated their elegant movements. The boats with the whale-watchers followed them cautiously, anxious to be close to the spot of their next appearance. The two whales offered an image of harmony and synchronicity, transmitting grace, peace and perfection.

The guide said, “It is a miracle to see two types of whales on the same day.” For me, this day was a miracle, the two encounters with the whales a wonderful gift from the universe. I don’t have any photos, but the wonderful sensations that day has given me will stay forever in my heart.

What are the beautiful moments in your life?

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post How do you relate with beauty?