I see often that my clients aren’t aware of their relationship rights. We never learned about our relationship rights in school and our family may also not serve as a good role-model. If we grew up in a dysfunctional family, we are likely to have learned a misleading perception about love and relationships. I experienced abusive relationships in my childhood. As a result, I had a distorted perception about my relationship rights. I felt insecure and wasn’t able to set healthy boundaries. My lack of knowledge led to major conflicts in my past relationships. I disrespected my rights and my needs. Knowing my relationship rights gave me clarity and helped me take the right direction in my relationships.
Independent of what happened in your childhood, you are an adult now. You should know your rights and claim them.
Here is a list of your relationship rights:
- You have the right to be the most important person in your life.
- You have the right to be happy and happier than your partner.
- You have the right to take care of yourself, no matter what.
- You have the right to change your mind.
- You have the right to say no, without further explanation.
- You have the right to expect honesty from your partner.
- You have the right to make mistakes.
- You have the right to your personal space and time needs.
- You have the right to be uniquely you, without feeling that you are not good enough.
- You have the right that your needs are equally important as your partner’s needs.
- You have the right to be treated with respect and kindness.
- You have the right to receive emotional support.
- You have the right to express your opinion and to be heard by your partner.
- You have the right to have your own perspective, even if your partner has a different opinion.
- You have the right to all your feelings.
- You have the right to live free from criticism, judgment, accusation and blame.
- You have the right to encouragement.
- You have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
- You have the right to leave your partner.
- You have the right to be playful and relaxed.
- You have the right to forgive others and forgive yourself.
- You have the right to give and receive unconditional love.
- You have the right to change and grow.
- You have the right to heal, to let go of fear, shame and guilt and to become whole.
- You have the right not to be responsible for your partner’s problems, feelings and behaviours.
Sometimes, we don’t dare to claim our rights because our inner child is blocking us. Within ourselves, there is an inner child that doesn’t know what is right or wrong. Her perception of love and relationships is shaped by her childhood and her past. She repeats these experiences because she is loyal to her past. You childhood was as it was. Your parents gave you what they were able to give you when you were a child. Now you are an adult and it is the time that you learn to take care of this child within yourself and that you teach her the truth about love and relationships. If she receives your love, she stops looking for love in the wrong places. Become a compassionate mother for your inner child and a courageous heroine in claiming your rights. This is an important step you can take today to create a fabulous relationship.
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