How Do You Relate With Beauty?

Last week, one woman presented her new board in Pinterest in our virtual business coffee. It showed pictures of beautiful women in wonderful dresses. They looked like goddesses. At the moment I saw them, I felt small. A critical voice in my head told me, That’s how a woman is supposed to be! You’ll never be so beautiful. You’ll never be so elegant. It was just another time that this harsh voice told me that I wasn’t good enough.

What does your critical voice say about you as a woman?

I don’t know what your inner critique tells you, but I have met many women who have a harsh voice in their head telling every day that they aren’t good enough… What are the messages you are receiving? When I looked into the media or listened to friends, I heard the message that I wasn’t feminine enough. I tried everything to fit in. I experimented with long hair, sexy cloths and expensive high heels. I even became a great cook. Did it make me happy or more beautiful? No, it didn’t. One day, I gave up and just wanted to be me.

Who tells you how you are supposed to be?

Is it your inner voice or do they come from friends and family or the media? Does it make you happy? It is easy to be swept away by the many opinions that tell you how you should be as a woman. Society gives you a picture, the media another one. Your family and your partner may have different claims. Each day, you receive many messages that tell you that you aren’t good enough the way you are. It’s tempting to buy-in into these opinions and to consider yourself as not good enough. Last Monday, when the critical voice talked to me again, I took a breath, centered myself and told my inner critique firmly to go away. In the end, it’s my choice to which voices I listen to. And I’ve chosen to be beautiful and enough as I am. And so are you. You are good enough just as you are today. You are beautiful as you are. There is no need to change anything. Why do we all have to be of the same size or shape?  Aren’t we beautiful for who we are? Isn’t our diversity and difference in character, size, shape, or whatever else comes to your mind that what makes us amazing women? I will never reach perfection, and I’ve given up the need to search it. I listen to my inner voice, and I make my decisions based on what feels right for me. I have my daily routine to clear away the messages that tell me that I am not good enough. And I want to invite you to explore this option. You can focus on what you aren’t and judge you for that. You can listen to the messages that tell you that you are too thin, thick, tall, small, or whatever other message comes to your mind. But you’ll miss an important part: you won’t see the beauty that resides within you. I know that you have a beauty beyond belief. You just need to allow yourself to see it. Isn’t life more charming if we encourage each other to see our unique beauty?

What is your unique beauty? Please, tell me more about it.

If I look into a mirror, I see a woman with beautiful brown eyes and a short and fresh haircut. She loves to write and change. She isn’t unscarred but has overcome many battles and feels happy and fulfilled. And she puts her energy into having more laugh wrinkles each day. That’s my beauty. What is yours?

Whom do you choose to listen to in the future?

You are free to choose whom you listen to. You decide whose ideals or ideas you follow. I won’t tell you what you should do, but I want to invite you to explore your beauty for just a week. Here is a little game: How about looking at yourself as if you were an amazing goddess you never met before? Explore her with curiosity. Look at her with appreciation. Who is this goddess? What makes her awesome? What are her special gifts and talents? What is her unique beauty in her appearance? What are the specific traits that make her beautiful? Write this all down and stick it to your refrigerator. Extend this list when it feels right for you and read it every day. Enjoy this journey of self-discovery and allow your unique beauty to shine brightly in this world.

I’d love to hear from you. Just leave your comment below.

Do you want to read more? Check the post How to become a modern heroine in relationships.

Natalie Jovanic

Natalie Jovanic is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Shiatsu Therapist. As a counsellor, they pass on what they believe in, but it isn’t just knowledge, theory, and professional experience. It is also their wisdom gained through their own transformative journey of healing abuse. Natalie is trained in trauma-informed practice and EMDR. They are the author of A Brave, True Story.