White Privilege 101

White Privilege 101

White Privilege

Do you want to take care of your white privilege but don’t know how?

Many white people want to contribute to anti-racist change but feel insecure about where to start. Let’s face it, nobody has taught us in school how we could navigate our white privilege healthily. We lack positive role models who show us how to engage in social justice meaningfully. We can’t practice anti-racism or decolonization the same way as Black people or Indigenous people due to our white privilege. Furthermore, we may have unconscious blocks due to our social conditioning that prevent us from contributing to social justice.

Practicing anti-racism and social justice as a white person is a transformative journey. It is the only pathway to breaking the intergenerational cycle of systemic violence. Our unawareness often leads to toxic relationship dynamics with BIPOC people. If we don’t do anything, we stay part of the problem. White people can become part of the solution by learning to navigate their privilege healthily. 

White Privilege 101 – Guidelines to Navigate White Privilege Healthily

These guidelines get you started on this journey. Reading them, you will:

  • Understand important terminology of anti-racist practice
  • Discover socially conditioned behaviours that block white people from engaging constructively in anti-racist practice
  • Find out about healthy and unhealthy behaviours concerning navigating privilege
  • Explore reflections to deepen your journey in anti-racism
  • Create a concrete plan for your future journey in anti-racist practice

How much longer do you want to wait?

A little bit about me

I have been on the journey to dismantle the dynamics of white supremacy since I was an adolescent. The dynamics of oppression that we face in our society are deeply connected with the culture of white supremacy which is the shadow of our world for centuries. When I became a mental health professional, I started to integrate anti-oppressive and anti-racist practices into my services. Over the last decade, I had very intimate conversations about systemic racism with Black people, People of Colour, and Indigenous people. They taught me a lot about my privilege as a settler and a white individual. They also showed me how little is changing over the years because white people don’t change. I deeply believe that now is time to break the cycle of systemic violence.

I hope that “White Privilege 101” supports you in navigating your white privilege healthily.

If you want to learn more, I invite you to check out the podcast Native Calgarian hosted by Michelle Robinson, an Indigenous activist. I was a guest on the episodes “Anti-oppression, racism, the roles of settlers and colonialism” and “Canada doesn’t meet the bar on oppression.” I also wrote an article about the importance of dismantling white supremacy.

Take your next step to contribute to social justice. Download “White Privilege 101” now.

Manage Toxic Relationships Effectively – Workbook

Manage Toxic Relationships Effectively

Do you know how to navigate toxic relationships?

Unfortunately, toxic relationships are a constant part of our reality, whether it is in romantic relationships, friendships, at work or within families. While toxic dynamics are painful, we can learn how to navigate them effectively.

I don’t know about you, but knowing them saved me from a lot of struggle some years ago. Let me tell you my story: I was happily in love. I had recently started to date a new person. I had met my partner six months ago during a meditation retreat. We both loved to hike and enjoyed dancing. I did not have any worries because it seemed like our relationship was going in a good direction.

One weekend in September, I flew to a friend’s wedding. I spoke to her about my new partner. She told me that she had never seen me so happy. When I returned home, my partner picked me up from the airport. He looked angry. In the car, he started yelling at me. He accused me of not loving him enough because I dared to leave him for the weekend. I set boundaries with him which he ignored. I recognized the warning signs of toxic relationships.

Over next weeks, his jealousy got worse. When one argument stopped, a new began. He blamed me that I worked too much. He got angry when I wanted to see my friends – trying to isolate the partner is another of the warning sign for a toxic relationship. I suddenly felt in a constant fight. After a week, my inner voice told me to leave him. And so I did. Once again, my knowledge about toxic relationships had supported me in making a the best choice for myself.

Empower yourself to navigate toxic relationships effectively

Unhealthy relationships are often hard to spot, but they can happen to anybody. Maybe it is a romantic relationship, a sibling or at work. Toxic relationships are part of today’s society. In the beginning, they may be hard to spot because the dynamics maybe very subtle. However, unhealthy relationships can impact our physical and emotional well-being negatively. Unfortunately, many of us never learned to identify them or navigate them effectively.

Download the workbook “Manage Toxic Relationships Effectively”

Downloading the free workbook “Manage Toxic Relationships Effectively”, you will get the information you need to identify and manage unhealthy behaviour in relationships. After reading it, you’ll:

  • Name 7 toxic dynamics in relationships
  • Understand the most common manipulative tactics
  • Identify 6 principles to navigate toxic dynamics effectively
  • Describe how to put these strategies into action with behaviours that are easy to implement
  • As a result, you will feel happier and more positive in your life, and you will be empowered to choose people that are good for you.

Get the workbook “Manage Toxic Relationships Effectively” today and transform your life today.

You want more information?

Check out the podcast “Smart Relationships Moves” where you get honest insights about relationships that support you in being empowered in your life.

You are interested in working with me? Check out your options.

7 Important Questions to Show If Your Partner is the Right Match

Are you frustrated in your relationship?

If you are happy with your partner, your partner is the right match. And what happens if you feel frustrated in your relationship?

Are you questioning if your partner is the right match?

While you ask this question, you feel confused and aren’t able to decide. You write down the pros and cons. You look at the two columns on the paper and feel desperate, what’s more important? How can I ever weigh them correctly? They don’t give you any solution. And the gnawing sense that something is wrong with your relationship persists.

You may find yourself, one night, in a situation where the struggle in your relationship stops for a moment: You sit at the couch together, and you steal a peak at the person who sits next to you. You ask yourself silently, is this the same person I once fell in love with? Their face seems so different now, so alien. They are like a stranger. You shake your head in disbelief. Where has our love gone? What have I done wrong?  Your questions remain unanswered. 

You feel conflicted about your relationship

Finding the right answer seems impossible. Your heart tells you, … but I love my partner, and the pain to let them go seems to break it. Leaving them while you still love them isn’t possible, is it? Another day, you are sure, I will leave them. I deserve somebody better. But in the next moment there comes this doubt what if I never find a partner again? You panic and remember the softness of the first embrace. You take a breath and endure. Do you really want to deal with it on your own? What would an outside look – a third party looking at this – give you? Someone who has been where you are, who has felt what you feel, dealt with what you are dealing with – and emerged on the other side, not unscarred, but as a stronger and happier person?

Your unhappiness continues…

And the worst kind of suffering is not knowing what to do. If you continue on this path, it is very likely that you find yourself sitting there with you partner and wanting to plan your future – like moving together or getting married. And each time you try to talk about this topic, you receive only one answer, I don’t know.  Your partner does not say more. You get angry. You feel frustrated. Dont they know that it’s now time for us to take the next step in our relationship? You feel rejected. Your life is on hold. You can’t plan anything. It’s very likely that you now start to withdraw from the relationship. You don’t even want to be touched by your partner anymore. Each morning, you have the same thoughts in your head: What will my family and my friends think about me if I leave my partner? What if they think badly about me? Another time I failed. No, I can’t do this. You feel guilty and ashamed. You hope that your relationship will change one day. The next New Year’s Eve, you may look at the coming year without excitement and think, another year with them. How much longer shall I wait? Hope can be a painful feeling. You look around at your friends and their partners. They kiss each other. They seem happy. You feel jealous and ask yourself, why do I have such a bad relationship karma? Why can’t I be that lucky? What do I do wrong? Is this really all I can expect from a relationship? 

Nobody taught us in school how we should choose the right match. Unconscious patterns and fears prevent us from taking the right decision.

Here is the story of a woman I loved deeply

It was a night in October, and she stood in the hallway of her house. She was angry and furious. Her husband stood in front of her, cold and manipulative as always. She had just found out that he had cheated on her for the 2nd time. She screamed, I will leave you. He didn’t say anything. He just turned around, went into his home office and slammed the door. The next morning, the argument was forgotten. She never talked about it again and stayed unhappy. She died when she was 50. During her painful battle on the deathbed, her eyes expressed one painful regret – she had stayed with the wrong partner all her life. She had allowed her fears to control her: the fear of change, the fear of being a single woman and the fear of what others might think of her.  She had paid a high price: she never experienced true connection, love and happiness with a man. I know it is a sad story. I lived with it every day as a child. I was this woman’s child. My mother’s story taught me an important lesson for my life: to choose happiness, to grow and dream big in relationships, and to let go of people who weren’t right for me.

Self-abandonment in relationships leads to unhappiness

My mother died 22 years ago, and I still see so many people who stay too long in an unhappy relationship because they don’t know how to make a good choice, and they are influenced by fear and other people’s opinions. Don’t get me wrong: other people’s opinions can be important, but they just reflect their experience. They may serve you well or lead you on the wrong path. Important is that you find the decision that is right for you. And this answer lies within you. After so many years in the wrong relationship, they feel deeply bitter about the time they have lost. Nothing has ever changed for the better in their relationship. Each year, it deteriorated more. They ignored the little whisper of their intuition that said, you have to leave now. They abandoned their dreams and values to hang on to their partner. Their frustration about life and love increased until they blame everyone and everything for their current situation. But deep inside they know they were the reason. And they are blaming themselves for not having taken the appropriate actions when the time was right.

Did you know that relationship stress may kill you?

A recently published Danish study shows that middle-aged men and women who experience stressful relationships have an increased mortality risk. Do you want to risk dying earlier due to an unhappy relationship?

It’s time that you find out if your partner is a great life partner for you or not. But tear your list with pros and cons. They won’t lead you anywhere. Just answer 7 questions with yes or no. Your answers will show you whether your relationship has a foundation that can still give you a potential for a great future and whether your partner is a great match for you. …Sounds too good to be true…? You’re probably reading this text because what you have tried so far hasn’t worked. And if it hasn’t, and you’re in a situation that’s destroying your life (it is, isn’t it?), can you afford not to at least give it a chance? If it’s free and won’t take much of your time? You know that, if you don’t try new possibilities, you will keep getting the same result, and you know you can’t afford that. Not in this situation.

The free report 7 Important Questions to Show You if Your Man is the Right Match offers you these questions. I created these questions while travelling around the world, meeting and working – as a Counsellor – with people of all ages and cultures who shared their most-common problems. They also include the principles that helped me with my relationships as I shared it in my memoir A Brave, True Story.

Why should you download this report?

Because if you do, you’ll have more clarity regarding:

  • Whether your partner is the right person to be a great partner.
  • Whether it is worth your time and effort to go through the rough times together with them.
  • Whether your partner is the wrong match, and you should leave them now.
  • Clear action steps you can take to move forward in the direction that is right for your specific situation.

In a relationship, you can either break-up or work through your problems with your partner. If you don’t decide, your unhappiness will continue: You might continue with your relationship; you may even manage to get married one day. You may feel very lonely and empty. Your relationship might end after years of fighting in bitterness and hatred. By 57, you may deeply regret the time you have lost in unhappiness while staying with the wrong partner. Those were precious years of your life. Nobody can turn back time.

You have the power to change your life

Right now, your relationship story is not yet written. You can create a much better story. You can even write a fabulous one. And only you can write it. But you need to start writing it. You know, and you’ve probably known for some time, that time isn’t infinite and that you need to start moving if you want the life – and the relationship – you’ve dreamed of having. It’s still possible, but the possibility isn’t increasing with time.

You have the right to be happy in your life

If you think right now that you don’t deserve it, let me inform you that it’s your birthright whether you believe it or not. This right can’t be destroyed. It’s independent of whatever happened to you in your past, what has been done to you or of what you did or didn’t do. I know that you have the right to be happy, and I know you deserve it. But you have to claim it.

Claim your right today.

Picking up the free report, and following it will be a great first step.

Find out more about my services.

7 Magical Principles to Find Happiness

Finding Happiness

Do you struggle with finding happiness?

Years ago, while washing my hair, I caught myself watching the water disappear down the drain. A feeling emerged from within me that I could finally put words to; I felt as if it was my life that was running away. I had a good job and a relationship, but I was trapped in my own fears and with a deep feeling of worthlessness. I felt sad and miserable.

Can you relate to this?

I knew that I deserved something better. I needed to do something, and I knew that only I could make the difference. So I started this process of change.

I cut my hair, took drawing classes, started yoga and moved into an internationally based career. I could not wait to see if the personal changes I was making would make other areas of my life better. That day, I took responsibility for my own happiness.

Do you want to take charge of your happiness?

On my journey, I learned that happiness does not depend on my relationship status. My abusive childhood also did not block me from finding happiness. I was the only person who was in charge of it. Nobody else could do this for me. I was responsible to find it within myself – and I did.

The principles I share in this guide helped me to become happier and more fulfilled. I now pass them on to support you on your journey. After reading them, you will be able to:

  • Know 7 principles that will increase your happiness.
  • Put these principles into action with activities that are fun and easy to use

Some activities will resonate with you, others not. Choose those that feel true to you. Trust your inner voice. Be creative and brainstorm new ideas. You are the hero of your life. Get into action today!

As a result, you will feel happier in your life, and you will be empowered to make more positive choices for yourself and choose people who are good for you.

Take action today and get the free ebook!