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4 Easy Ways To Say No

4 Easy Ways To Say No

Some time ago, a friend asked me, “You have to come to our karaoke party this Saturday. I miss you.” I hate karaoke parties, and I knew that I would need time to relax. One voice in my head told me, “You are egoistic. You have to be there. Be nice!” The other one said, “I just don’t want to.” In the past, I would have gone to a party where I felt at the wrong place all the time, and I would have felt drained. Now I simply said, “No, I can’t.”

Do you fear to say “no”? Do you want to be nice to others? Do you fear conflicts?
If you struggle with saying “no,” don’t worry, you are not alone. Many times the difficulties exist due to learnings in our childhood. Were you allowed to say “no” as a child? How did your family use it? How did people react to it? As a child, I learned that “no” was a word that I wasn’t allowed to use, and that it might provoke a punishment. As an adult, I feared that the other person would either reject me or explode in a rage of anger, so I had major difficulties to say “no”. Was it good for me to say “yes” even though I should have said “no”? No, it wasn’t. I abandoned myself and lost the focus in my life because I tried to please other people. Furthermore, I made the activities with resentment like a recalcitrant horse because I didn’t enjoy them. Then, I learned to respect my needs and to say no.
The voices of fear and guilt are inappropriate advisors, and they shouldn’t be your motivation to decide what you are doing. There is a difference between doing things because you have to do them or because you want to do them. How often do you do things because you feel obliged to do them? How often do you please others? If you try to please others at the expense of yourself, you are not nice to you at all.

Healthy boundaries are a key for healthy relationships!
If you say “no” to what you don’t want, you respect your boundaries and priorities. You can’t control how the other person will react or how they will feel about it. You can just take care of your needs and priorities. If you start to respect your needs and your boundaries and say “no” when you want to, other people will get to know you in an honest and authentic way. Honesty is the key. Learning to say “no” is a healthy habit that will improve your relationships. Try out different occasions and find a way to say “no” that makes you feel comfortable!

How can you say “no”?
Here are four effective ways that helped me to learn it:

A simple “no” without any explanation is enough.
Say gently and firmly: “No, I can’t.” That’s it. There is no need to be aggressive or angry. You have the right to say “no” and you do not owe the other person an explanation.
“I don’t know yet, I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know tomorrow, next week,… ”
This way helped me when I felt pressured and gave me the time to become aware what I wanted. Use this method with people you have difficulties with or if you do not yet know what you want. Then, tell them your answer. Nobody can oblige you to do something that you do not want to do.
If the other person insists, repeat it.
Especially, if they are not used to it, it is likely that other persons insist on what they want, or they simply ignore your answer. In this case, repeat your answer firmly. Don’t capitulate. You don’t have to explain it, just repeat it.
“No, I can’t but what do you think about… “
Say no, and make a counter proposal that fits with your need. Your friend wants to meet you this weekend and you can’t? Make a proposal for a day when it is convenient for you or propose another activity you prefer. Don’t give in but start to negotiate a solution that fits you both.

The more you practice, the more comfortable you will feel. Start with an option that feels right for you and play with it. See it as an adventure on your journey. Saying “no” and respecting your boundaries will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. You will experience a higher degree of contentment because you allow yourself to do what you really want. Live your life in an assertive way, respecting your needs and the needs of others.

Would you like to give it a try?

I love to read your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post Do you know your rights in a relationship?

Do You Enjoy The Beauty Of The Moment?

Last September, I did it. I stopped making excuses and went on a whale-watching tour in Vancouver. It had been my heart’s desire since many years, and I had tears in my eyes when I reserved the tour.

One week prior to the tour, my inner child was full of tension. Will the weather conditions allow the tour? I anxiously observed the forecast. It was supposed to rain all day. Would the event really take place?
On the morning of the tour, I woke up accompanied by the squawking of the sea gulls, and a ray of the sun entered shyly into my room. I saw a piece of blue sky through the gap of the curtains. I sighed deeply and smiled. All was well. I would be able to do the trip. I got ready and walked to the hotel in downtown Vancouver where the bus driver picked me up to bring me to the landing place of the boat in Richmond.
One hour later, I sat at the back of the boat, thickly packed in all the clothes I had brought with me to protect myself from the chilly airstream while the sun was warming my face. The roaring sound of the engines hurt in my ears and made it impossible to hear anything else, while the boat cut through the mirror-like surface of the Pacific that was unusually calm that day. There was nearly no wave, no movement.

The prediction was to see a pod of killer whales during the tour, and suddenly they were there. The boat stopped. Stillness surrounded us. The people in the boat ran to the side where the whales had appeared, hid their eyes behind their cameras and tried to make the perfect photo to hang on to it forever. I did the same. After three attempts, I stopped this impossible venture, and observed how the beauty of the moment revealed itself:
Two pods of whales had a cheerful encounter in the sea. Their beautiful black and white colors showed up when they did spy hopping and put their head out of the water. One whale even jumped out of it once. They seemed to be playing with each other, just like two families having an afternoon full of games, and I could feel a tingling joy in the air. I had never seen whales in the wildlife before, and tears of gratitude entered into my eyes as I observed their playfulness. We accompanied them for a while until the engines of the boat roared up again, and the boat took up speed. It seemed that we would also be able to watch some humpback whales that day.

The boat hunted through the sea in zig-zag patterns, until somebody screamed out, “There they are.” There, they were: two adult humpback whales, gliding through the water in their rhythm that was like a graceful dance. Their tail fins showed up for a second, then they descended into the deepness of the Pacific. Some minutes later, they emerged again and repeated their elegant movements. The boats with the whale-watchers followed them cautiously, anxious to be close to the spot of their next appearance. The two whales offered an image of harmony and synchronicity, transmitting grace, peace and perfection.

The guide said, “It is a miracle to see two types of whales on the same day.” For me, this day was a miracle, the two encounters with the whales a wonderful gift from the universe. I don’t have any photos, but the wonderful sensations that day has given me will stay forever in my heart.

What are the beautiful moments in your life?

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post How do you relate with beauty?

You Have Impossible Dreams? Find Out About Four Secrets to Realize Them!

Beginning of 2013, I decided to realise an impossible dream. I set my intention to write my first book. Today, the manuscript is finalized, and the book will be published within the next couple of months. When I started this project, I was full of doubts and worries. Am I good enough as a writer? Will I be ever able to finish it? I had no idea what steps were necessary to publish a book, yet I kept moving forward, one tiny step after the other, embracing fears, doubts and worries as part of the process. Now, I know that everything will work out great.

I am sure that you also have impossible dreams, maybe they seem too big or unreachable. Perhaps a loving and intimate relationship? Or a new step in your career? Or the one-year sabbatical and the trip around the world? Maybe a move to another country or continent? It does not matter what your specific dream is and whether you believe that it is possible or not. If you can dream it, you can also achieve it. Dreams come to you because they are possible for you.

Here are four secrets that will support you in realizing your dreams:

Take small steps.

If you want to realize your dream, take one small step at a time. It does not matter how small it seems. Get rid of the expectations by when you want to achieve it – if you make it in 2014 it is great and also if you realize it within the next couple of years. Some projects are just so big that they need more than one year to be created. It is not about when you achieve it but that you achieve it.
You can start with visualizations and affirmations. When I decided to write a book, I saw the published book in my hands in my inner eye, and I said to myself each day positive affirmations like “I am a good writer”, “I can achieve everything I set my mind to”. I also put a collage at my wall that showed my written book. Visualizations and affirmations are powerful and magical allies in achieving our dreams, and they are the smallest step you can take to begin with.

Surround yourself with supportive people.

I learned that the people I am with have a major influence on my capabilities, this can be supportive for my dream or blocking it. It was a painful but precious experience. Now, I choose to relate with people who are supportive of my objectives and reduce contact with people who drag me down because it will not help me to achieve my goal.
To create your dream, surround yourself with people who believe that you can do it and avoid those who are negative and sceptical, e.g. if you want to open your heart and find true love, surround yourself with people who believe that this is possible and avoid people who are afraid to open their heart again and talk in a negative way about finding true love. Another way is that you look for positive role models, for people who have already achieved what you want to realize and learn from their experience. The more supportive your environment is, the easier it will be for you to move forward in realizing your dreams.

Ask for help.

When I started to write my book, I had no idea about the process, so I read books about it, then I participated in a program that supported me in writing and publishing the book, and I asked experts for help in specific areas where I needed support. It does not matter what my dream was, I experienced that asking for support can be the most powerful thing for me to do.

Sometimes, you may have no idea how you can achieve your dream and perhaps it had not worked out before. Maybe you already had several failed relationships and now want to create a loving and intimate relationship. If something does not work out in the first few tries, don’t give up! Don’t be afraid and don’t be shy, ask for help by an expert. This is not a sign of failure but of strength, and it can be a powerful and wise step that supports you in accomplishing your goals.

Stay positive.

While writing my book, there were moments when I felt overwhelmed, stuck, full of fear and panic that I will never make it. In these moments, I took a break, maybe for some hours, sometimes for some days. I spent some time in nature, or I had a coffee in a nice café, trusting that a solution would show up. One time, I felt so desperate that I prayed for a miracle. The next day, I received it.

If you want to achieve an important goal, it is likely that there will be moments when you feel overwhelmed and stuck, full of worries and doubts, or maybe paralyzed with fear. In these moments, the best thing you can do is to take a break. Don’t give up on your goal, but spend some time without working on it and relax. Change your focus and become aware of where you are right now and what you already have accomplished. Get rid of your expectations about where you should be and how it should be. The important thing is that you already have moved forward.
Praying can also be a powerful way to stay positive in times of fears and doubts. Pray for solutions, pray for support and I assure you that it will come. These moments of doubts will pass by as the clouds in the sky and when they have gone you have taken another important step to realize your dream.

It does not matter where you are right now – you can realize even your biggest dream! Nothing is impossible. Have patience and trust, and never give up. This way, you will realize your biggest dream.

What are your biggest dreams?

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post In Wholeness, We Meet.

Can She Really Make It?

Once upon a time, there was a little cat who travelled around the world. She had sparkling eyes and was full of positive energy. She stayed in amazing countries, made new friends, and her dream was to help others from the depth of her heart. After years of travelling, she came back home and stayed with the other cats of her tribe, still inspired by the many cultures she got to know and the many languages she spoke. She wanted to share her wisdom.

One day, she received the opportunity to talk in front of hundreds of other cats and to help them. She was thrilled, yet also fearful. Would I be able to make it well? Will I be really able to help others? What if I fail? were the doubtful thoughts that ran in her head. Insecure about her capabilities, she asked her aunt for advice. Her aunt was a huge gray cat that was always a bit discontent about her own life, but did not want to change anything. When the little cat came to her, she sat majestically in her padded chair. The little cat asked her, “Dear aunt, I have a question. I received an offer to hold a speech in front of hundreds of cats. Do you think that I will be able to do this?” Her aunt looked at her, disapprovingly and thought, she has not deserved this opportunity; I never have received an opportunity like this, while she said aloud: “Well, I don’t think that you will be able to make it. I don’t see you as a public speaker.” The little cat’s smile disappeared and all her courage went away. How should I be able to do it if my aunt does not believe in me? I should give up. With her head down, she left her aunt and wondered through the streets without destination. She looked around, and saw some kitten playing. As always, they beckoned her over, but she just shrug her head from one side to the other. She wasn’t in the mood to play because she was too disappointed. She felt worthless, just like being nothing. During the next days, she withdrew more and more from her friends and family. She looked around and everything had changed. The leaves of the trees had lost their fresh green and the flowers their colors, everything was gray. She was convinced that she could never realize her dream.

One afternoon, she wondered around and sat down under a majestic old tree with huge branches and roots to take a rest. Suddenly, there was a bright rainbow colored fairy in front of her face. She asked the little cat, “Why are you so sad?” The little cat told her the story. The fairy listened to her mindfully. When the little cat had finished, she said: “This comment wasn’t fair. You have so much light and love to give. Forget about what others say about you, believe in you. Don’t worry, you will do it well and you will make it better each day. Speak from the heart, be who you are.” The little cat was still disbelieving, “But my aunt said that I would not be able to do it. She knows me well.” And the fairy continued, “Never let other people define what you are capable of doing. It is normal to have fear if you start a new adventure. Don’t allow your fears to guide you. If the universe offers you an opportunity like this, you are perfectly well prepared for it. Just take the first step, and you’ll find your way. Each time, you will make it better. And always remember, if you need help, I’ll always sit at your shoulder.” And she softly touched the little cat on her left shoulder and disappeared. The little cat decided to give it a try. She had nothing to lose, but all to win.

One week later, she went on the stage and walked towards the speaker’s desk. She could hardly breathe. Then, she looked up and saw into the eyes of hundreds of cats. Oh, my god, I’ll never make this. What will they think about me? Her hands started to shake. “Don’t worry about what they think about you. Believe in you. Just tell your story.” The fairy whispered into her ear. The little cat took a deep breath and started. She could hear her voice trembling. No, I won’t give up; I have something valuable to share, she told herself silently, and she continued. Suddenly, she had forgotten about the other cats and just told her story as she always wanted to tell it. When she had finished, she didn’t dare to look up. She had given her best, but was it good enough?

There was silence in the room. Then, she heard a voice from the back, “Thank you”, and another “Thank you” from the front row, suddenly, many “Thank you”  echoed in the room. She looked up and saw that the other cats were standing and applauding her. She had tears in her eyes and did not know what to do. Then she saw the little fairy sitting at a lamp by her left side. She had a big smile on her face and made little jumps out of joy. The little cat smiled at her and said, “Thank you. Without you, I never would have made it.” The fairy twinkled, “That’s why I am here.”

That day, the little cat started to believe in herself, and she knew that the little fairy would help her whenever she had doubts.

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post Do you have impossible dreams? Find out how to realize them.

What if Your Relationships are Complex…?

Complex Relationships

Do you sometimes spend hours thinking about how your partner might react before you do something? Or do you create scenarios in your mind about what your partner might think or feel?

Just a while ago, I sat in a lovely restaurant with my friend who had recently fallen in love. I listened to her discourse about how her partner might react if she’d would do this or that. Her explanation about his world was full of doubts and worries, possibilities, twists and turns. Silently, I wondered how she could know his feelings, thoughts and needs without ever having asked him. Half an hour later, there was still no conclusion what she should do and I asked her, What do you really want to do? Her answer came quickly and was simple, I want to call him. Suddenly, everything was clear.

In the past, I spent hours thinking about the reactions of my partner before I decided what to do, or I created my own interpretations why he reacted in a specific way, and I never checked with him whether it was really like this or not. Since he meant a lot to me, I wanted to do it “right” but my relationship became complicated. I wasted my time and energy, and I learned that it did not work that way.

How can you simplify your relationships?

Here are some basics that helped me to understand the world of relationships better and that made my relationships simpler:

Each person has a different inner world

The truth is that each person has their own “reality” of the world. This means that each person perceives and experiments the world in their own way, with their experiences, feelings and thoughts and they create their own inner world. Just to give you an example: My sister and I have completely different memories about our childhood. She does not even remember moments that have been significant and highly emotional for me and vice versa even though we experienced both the same situations. Each person has a unique inner world. In your relationship, you have your world, and your partner has another world. You are expert in understanding your world but you will never really know what is going on in your partner’s inner world. Your partner is the expert for their inner world. So, stop thinking about what might be going on in their inner world.

Explore your partner’s world with curiosity

Instead of thinking about what your partner might think, feel or need, ask them. Be just like a tourist who is visiting a foreign country, in this case your partner’s inner world, and explore it with curiosity, just like a treasure map. I once coached a good friend and during the coaching process she suddenly revealed me dreams she had never mentioned before because she feared that I would judge her. I was deeply touched and surprised by the beauty of her inner world. Explore their world without judgement, ask them questions to get to know them better, and you may find precious jewels you never expected. The inner world of your partner might be a surprise to you. There will be things you like and others you dislike. It doesn’t matter how long you know each other, people can change overnight and their inner worlds, too. So, it is always worth to explore your partner’s world.

Let go of control

We can’t control what will happen in the relationship. It will happen what is supposed to happen. It does not make sense to create “what if” scenarios in your head because you cannot control how your partner will react. The more you try to control, the more complex the relationship gets. Don’t try to please the other person. There is no need to. You can just be who you are. Sometimes, you may have the same needs as your partner, and often you will have different ones. There is no right and wrong; the needs of both of you are equally important. Negotiate a creative solution that fits you both if you have different needs. Trust and allow your relationship to flow.

Be authentic

Show your partner who you really are. Be honest about yourself. Speak your true voice. Share your feelings, dreams, needs and fears. Respect your boundaries and say “no” when you want to say now. A relationship requires a deep connection between two people, and this is nurtured by authenticity and honesty.

Applying these basics in your relationship is a process, you don’t have to fulfill them all today, you don’t have to make is perfect. Important is that you make small steps and practice them with joy.

What do you want to try out today?

Do you want to read more? Check the post 4 Easy Ways to Say No.

I look forward to reading your comments below!

A Secret About Change Nobody Else Will Tell You

Secret About Change

Do you struggle with changing yourself and with your growth process?

I did struggle when I first started my growth and healing process. Actually, I had a similar experience as when I started to do jogging:

Fourteen years ago, I was in a rather bad physical condition. I hiked during my holidays in the National Parks in U.S. and Canada but I didn’t do any other sports. One day I decided to start jogging. I went to a small park in Munich with my former boyfriend who was supposed to serve as my personal trainer and wanted to start running. He began to run elegantly with grace. I started to follow him and couldn’t keep his pace. He turned around, looked at me and said: “Come on, faster, you are too slow.” After one minute, I had to stop. I was completely frustrated. Yet, I continued. I ran a minute and then stopped. My head was red; I could hardly breathe. It was a fight against myself. One inner voice said, You’ll never make it. The other said, Look at you, plumb and not fit at all. People laugh at you. Another said, Give up. Just stay as you are. And with all this, I continued running.

Fifteen minutes later, I sat down with my boyfriend on some stairs that let to the entrance of a nearby house to relax. I breathed heavily while sweat ran down my face, and I could hardly talk; he seemed rather bored. I looked at the other runners in the park who ran like beautiful Arabian horses that ran in the wilderness with a flying mane while I was like a giant hippo that tramped down a path. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do better.

Despite all my negative voices in my head, my intuition told me to continue. It just felt right to do so. I dismissed my boyfriend because it was only my journey. Every second day, I ran alone and fought with myself and my inner critics. After three months, I suddenly could do half an hour. I did not have to stop anymore, and my movement became more fluent. The inner critics stopped. I got up in the morning and wanted to go running. A year later, I ran for more than one hour.

Today, fourteen years later, I still run. Actually I can’t imagine my life without running. I run down to the beach, and I see the sea that glitters in the sunlight, the palm trees with their green leaves, the masts of the yachts in the harbor. I feel the sun and the wind in my face, and I hear the sounds of the seagulls. I enjoy each and every second, and it gives me energy and joy.

I experienced the same in my growth and healing process. In the beginning, I had to make an effort and push myself. It seemed to me that everybody else were already “better” than me. I had to overcome my fears and many times I felt awkward. Sometimes, I felt intimidated and even frustrated. Yet, I moved forward and took tiny steps. Today, it is a fluent process that is just part of my personality and my life. I trust in my resources, and I know that I have everything I need to achieve what I want. I can see the beauty of life each day. I have been richly rewarded for my efforts.

What attitudes are nurturing your growth process?

Here are some winning mind sets that will nurture your growth:

  • Change is an inner process that may feel overwhelming and impossible in the beginning. Yet I know that you can master it. Split it into little steps, let go of any expectations you have towards yourself and just take one step at a time.
  • It does not matter where you start, it matters that you start.
  • Don’t compare yourself with others. Everybody has their own unique journey in life. You have a unique and special journey, and you have to make your own experience and learning. Others might have to grow in areas where you are already expert in and vice versa. You just waste your energy if you compare yourself with others. Concentrate on your own journey and move your foot forward.
  • Have patience with yourself and never give up. I assure you that you’ll be richly rewarded.

So, what is the first step that you can take today?

Do you want to read more? Read the blog post How to Become a Modern Heroine.

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Forgiveness – Your Choice To Find Freedom

I listened to my friend’s voice on the phone, That Saturday, twenty years ago, I was ill, and she didn’t give me the right medication. She just didn’t see what I had. I had to go to the hospital to be properly medicated. His spouse happened to be a doctor and it seemed that she had made a mistake. He finished his story, I will never forget that she did this to me. I could hear the indignation in his voice. The anger and resentment was buried deep in his heart and he carried it around for twenty years now.

Listening to him, I wondered, How many similar stories were stored in his mind and in his spouse’s mind? How did they influence their relationship? How deep was the invisible crack produced by the anger and resentment in their relationship? My friend was a person who sought peace in relationships so I became curious and asked him, Have you ever thought about forgiveness? At the other end was silence. Then, he said, Forgiveness? His voice sounded astonished as if this option never had come into his mind. No, we have never forgiven each other. We are far away from this. He sighed.

What role does forgiveness play in your life?

It happens so often in a relationship: your spouse did you wrong and you feel hurt, angry and sad, maybe an unfair critique or even a betrayal. Each time, the invisible crack in the relationship and in the heart grows a bit deeper. Forgiveness seems impossible due to the involved injustice because there exists the general belief that forgiveness implies that we accept the unfair incidents or that we liberate the other person from their responsibility.
Yet, forgiveness is not about liberating others from their responsibility. If you forgive them,  they remain responsible for their actions and the involved consequences.

What do you win if you forgive? What will you lose?

Forgiveness is merely your decision that you let go of anger and resentment or the desire of revenge. This way you can liberate yourself from the painful story and move on with your life. It is not necessary that you still have a relationship with this person to forgive them. It is your inner process that will follow its own rhythm and will lead you to a higher level of well-being and healthier relationships. Medical studies show that practicing forgiveness leads to lower blood pressure and relieves stress. Without forgiveness you risk that you bring bitterness and anger into existing relationships and into new experiences. You may not be able to experience deep connectedness to other people.

How can you practice it?

If you feel ready to forgive somebody in your life, I propose to you the following exercise:
Set your intention to forgive this person, maybe it is your father or mother, your ex-spouse or your current partner, or a colleague at work. You can start by writing down all negative feelings you have about what happened to you. Allow yourself to describe all that you feel. Don’t judge your own feelings, allow them to emerge. If you have finished, you can burn the paper in a safe place. Now, think about what might have motivated the other person to act in such a way. It is likely that they wanted to avoid pain, perhaps they acted out of fear or maybe due to their childhood wounds. Try to see the world through their eyes and their experiences. Alternatively, you could also write the story out of the perspective of this person. How would they tell what happened? Try to understand their motivation, their weakness and their immaturity. Take all the time you need. Then, think about everything that you are grateful for and write it down. Everything is important, it doesn’t matter whether it is big or small. Finally, close your eyes, imagine the person in front of you and tell them I forgive you. Repeat these steps as often as you need to. If you get stuck in your process talk to a friend you trust in or ask for professional help.

What did you learn about forgiveness in your family?

I grew up in a family that rejected forgiveness and I have experienced as a child the never-ending cycle of bitterness and hatred that was toxic for the relationships and the emotional well-being of the involved people. I now practice forgiveness for my own well-being. If you decide to let go of anger and resentment, you will release the control and the power that the offending person and the situation has about your life, you will be able to move on with your life and to experience a higher level of inner peace and compassion as well as healthier relationships. If your mind regards forgiveness as difficult or impossible, this prospect should be a motivation to give it a try so that you can make your own experience.

What experiences did you make with forgiveness?

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Do you want to read more? Check the post How to become a Modern Hero.

Do You Believe in Miracles?

I admit that I had some doubts that miracles really occur and then, there happened something special:

It was on a Sunday evening in December, on the birthday of my wonderful late grandmother, so it was a special date for me. After a weekend of training, I went into the Parc de la Ciutadella in Barcelona where I always helped feeding a colony of abandoned cats on Sunday. It was nearly dark.

Suddenly, a shipbuilder from Port Olimpic arrived with a box. Vicki, the lady responsible for the colony, looked into it and screamed, Look at this! I did and saw a little kitten, just several weeks old with his two back paws taped with bandages. She looked at him and said, He won’t survive the night here. I touched the little head with tears in my eyes and saw his eyes that were full of pain and asked,  We really can’t do anything? Vicki called the organization and they allowed us to bring him to a clinic. I got into a taxi to bring him there. There, the doctor looked at him with worries, We have to amputate at least one leg,” He said and I asked cautiously, Will he survive the night? The answer was that they would try to stabilize him. I left the clinic. There was nothing I could do.

I went home, called the kitten Angel, prayed to the universe and sent him Reiki. After three days I received the first information. The list of problems seemed overwhelming: On the first day he had a cardiac arrest, they reanimated him, then he needed a blood transfusion, he was nearly starved and had necrosis in his two legs in the back. He must have been lying injured at the harbor for several days. On the third day, the little cat started to eat. The veterinarian said, It is very likely that he will lose both legs and stay a bit stupid because of the cardiac arrest. Anyway, if this cat survives, I will start to believe in God. He gave him a chance to survive of 5%.

On Christmas Eve, I was allowed to visit him the first time. I sat in the animal clinic with a bundle of towels on my knees and in the middle of the bundle there was Angel’s little head. I returned every second day. One week later, on New Year’s Eve, another veterinarian told me, This cat will not survive. He has too many injuries. I looked at her and asked silently, but he has survived until now, hasn’t he? He eats, doesn’t he? Why are you seeing it so dark? I did not dare to discuss with her. I went home in tears because of the apparent hopelessness in this situation. On my way home I bought a candle to show that I trusted that he would survive. The candle burnt each day, I continued with my visits and Reiki. Two weeks later, they amputated the first leg. That day, I asked my veterinarian about how to handle a cat that lacked both legs in the back. He looked at me with worries and said, That will not work. I left the animal clinic and decided to trust.

One week later, they amputated the second leg. Then, they gave me hope for the first time, We hope to dismiss him next week, if everything goes fine. Yet, they had to do another amputation. A week later, the veterinarian told me, You can take him home on Friday. That’s a miracle.

Two months after I had brought him to the clinic, I was allowed to bring the little cat home. The veterinarian gave me diapers because they believed that he wouldn’t be able to go to the cat’s toilette because of his missing legs. I decided that he’d learn it. He learned it within two days.

Angel fought for his life and had never given up. He had suffered a lot in the first months of his life and I want him to enjoy the rest of it. I trust that he can do everything that he wants. And he surprises me every day. He is playful, joyous and affectionate. He loves playing soccer with a little ball and runs like hell. And I was terribly proud of him when I saw him the first time in the cave of the cat tree that is at a height of 20 cm above the floor.

He reminds me everyday that miracles can occur. And so they do.

I look forward to reading your comments below!

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