What If You Always Attract The Wrong Man?

Do you always attract the type of man you don’t want?

Have you ever wondered why this happened?

Let me tell you my story:

Growing up in a dysfunctional home I had a very clear picture of what I did not want and after each failed relationship my list grew longer. I was very clear about what I didn’t want, but I did not have a clue about what I did want. I focused on I don’t want an abusive man, I don’t want a man who doesn’t respect me or I don’t want a man who doesn’t love me.

 What is your list of “I don’t want it anymore”?

At the time, I did not know that the subconscious mind does not understand the word “no”, so I attracted what I did not want. Then came that day in Taiwan, listening to my colleagues’ stories of their fabulous relationships, I could hear the love and respect they had in their voices when they talked about their partners. One of them had met his partner just six months before. Now he said with all the confidence in his voice, “She is the woman of my life”. While I listened to them I knew that I wanted my partner to speak the same way about me and vice versa. That day, I started to define what I really wanted. I searched within myself and asked me, What do I really want? I allowed myself to dream big and go beyond the relationship schemes I had learned from my parents. There is no need to repeat my parents’ destiny. My vision of a fabulous relationship has five pages. It is a precious guide to choose the right man to spend my life with. Having this clarity is an act of self-love towards myself.

So, how about you?

Change your focus; define the relationship you want in a positive way and your subconscious mind will automatically change the radar and will attract the relationship you want in your life. It will also help you to quickly let go of partners that do not fit what you want or need. Sit down now and write a love-card about your ideal partner and your ideal relationship. As soon as you have written it, stop telling yourself what you don’t want and allow yourself to talk about what you really want.

For your unique love-card think about the following areas:

  • Your ideal partner: What is he or she like? What are their main traits and characteristics? What is their profession? Their hobbies? What do they like/ dislike?
  • When you are together with your partner: How does this make you feel? What activities do you do together? How do you spend your time together? What do you want your spouse to say about you and your relationship?
  • Your relationship: How does your relationship make you feel? What do your friends say about your relationship? Do your friends see this as the relationship you have always wanted to have?

Write down everything in a positive way; focus on what you do want and what you need. Be honest with yourself and write from your heart. Avoid clichés or any negative role modeling that you have learned from your past. Never forget: You can now create the relationship that you have always wanted!

The first step to be in a fabulous relationship is to have a clear vision about what it means to you and to focus on it. Allow yourself to feel how it would feel like to be in such a relationship. There is no right and wrong. Your vision is as unique and beautiful as you are.

Are you ready to take the next step? Check my program “Create Your Vision of a Fabulous Relationship.”

I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.

Natalie Jovanic

Natalie Jovanic is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Shiatsu Therapist. As a counsellor, they pass on what they believe in, but it isn’t just knowledge, theory, and professional experience. It is also their wisdom gained through their own transformative journey of healing abuse. Natalie is trained in trauma-informed practice and EMDR. They are the author of A Brave, True Story.