A Secret About Change Nobody Else Will Tell You

Do you struggle with changing yourself and with your growth process?

I did struggle when I first started my growth and healing process. Actually, I had a similar experience as when I started to do jogging:

Fourteen years ago, I was in a rather bad physical condition. I hiked during my holidays in the National Parks in U.S. and Canada but I didn’t do any other sports. One day I decided to start jogging. I went to a small park in Munich with my former boyfriend who was supposed to serve as my personal trainer and wanted to start running. He began to run elegantly with grace. I started to follow him and couldn’t keep his pace. He turned around, looked at me and said: “Come on, faster, you are too slow.” After one minute, I had to stop. I was completely frustrated. Yet, I continued. I ran a minute and then stopped. My head was red; I could hardly breathe. It was a fight against myself. One inner voice said, You’ll never make it. The other said, Look at you, plumb and not fit at all. People laugh at you. Another said, Give up. Just stay as you are. And with all this, I continued running.

Fifteen minutes later, I sat down with my boyfriend on some stairs that let to the entrance of a nearby house to relax. I breathed heavily while sweat ran down my face, and I could hardly talk; he seemed rather bored. I looked at the other runners in the park who ran like beautiful Arabian horses that ran in the wilderness with a flying mane while I was like a giant hippo that tramped down a path. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do better.

Despite all my negative voices in my head, my intuition told me to continue. It just felt right to do so. I dismissed my boyfriend because it was only my journey. Every second day, I ran alone and fought with myself and my inner critics. After three months, I suddenly could do half an hour. I did not have to stop anymore, and my movement became more fluent. The inner critics stopped. I got up in the morning and wanted to go running. A year later, I ran for more than one hour.

Today, fourteen years later, I still run. Actually I can’t imagine my life without running. I run down to the beach, and I see the sea that glitters in the sunlight, the palm trees with their green leaves, the masts of the yachts in the harbor. I feel the sun and the wind in my face, and I hear the sounds of the seagulls. I enjoy each and every second, and it gives me energy and joy.

I experienced the same in my growth and healing process. In the beginning, I had to make an effort and push myself. It seemed to me that everybody else were already “better” than me. I had to overcome my fears and many times I felt awkward. Sometimes, I felt intimidated and even frustrated. Yet, I moved forward and took tiny steps. Today, it is a fluent process that is just part of my personality and my life. I trust in my resources, and I know that I have everything I need to achieve what I want. I can see the beauty of life each day. I have been richly rewarded for my efforts.

What attitudes are nurturing your growth process?

Here are some winning mind sets that will nurture your growth:

  • Change is an inner process that may feel overwhelming and impossible in the beginning. Yet I know that you can master it. Split it into little steps, let go of any expectations you have towards yourself and just take one step at a time.
  • It does not matter where you start, it matters that you start.
  • Don’t compare yourself with others. Everybody has their own unique journey in life. You have a unique and special journey, and you have to make your own experience and learning. Others might have to grow in areas where you are already expert in and vice versa. You just waste your energy if you compare yourself with others. Concentrate on your own journey and move your foot forward.
  • Have patience with yourself and never give up. I assure you that you’ll be richly rewarded.

So, what is the first step that you can take today?

Do you want to read more? Read the blog post How to Become a Modern Heroine.

I look forward to reading your comments below!

Natalie Jovanic

Natalie Jovanic is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor. As a counsellor, she passes on what she believes in, but it isn’t just knowledge, theory, and professional experience. It is also her wisdom gained through her own transformational journey of healing violence and abuse.